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Post by lillian elise adler on Aug 11, 2009 0:29:47 GMT -5
A mess. That was what the hotel room looked like at the moment. From a large food fight to throwing the flat screen television her father had given her as a present out the window (honestly it was for him to watch when she was showering or whatever...) they ended up play argueing over a chair...
Not just any chair, though. The only chair left in the entire penthouse suite. Lily wanted it out the window, over the balcony. Vinny wanted to use it against the food she was throwing at him...
To be perfectly honest, she felt like nothing had suddenly changed. Like they were sitting perfectly straight at the dinner table attempting to be perfectly civilized people with absolutely no problems. As if the feelings weren't lingering there anymore. They were always there; they always had been...
After the chat online, however, with her grandfather...The last person she ever expected to actually call her a whore...After everything he said, the mentality of being able to actually keep this child and raise it, basically on her own considering her father had his own family and didn't need to be worrying about this other one he irresponsibly began; the entire mentality she had disappeared and the doubt started shifting in again. The thoughts of maybe getting an abortion, of running away again...Of just leaving everything behind to start over somewhere else...To just cut everyone off like she did for practically six months...
It sounded like bliss. Lonely bliss.
She sighed deeply as she layed down on the comfortable bed that held more nightmares than sweet dreams. She stared blankly at the ceiling, feeling the familiar weight of someone next to her. Her one hand was over her fairly flat stomach where it sometimes felt like guppies were swimming. She liked the ceiling...it was so simple. Just white. Closing her eyes momentarily, she tried pushing the doubts away...The screaming words that told her to pack up all her things and just leave. Alex would never know-not if she used cash for everything and she had a lot of her own cash. Biting her lower lip, she let her eyes open slowly before she turned her head to face Vincent.
She didn't deserve him. She really didn't. She had broken him into a million pieces because of her own fears and insecurities. It was strange...It wasn't truly that she didn't want to be with him, because she did. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She wanted to get married, have his kids, raise them, grow old with him... Maybe it was her own fear of being trapped. Of feeling like, even if she did marry him...
There would be no way to escape Alex. The only way she escaped him was when she cut herself off contact with everyone they had in common...And even then it didn't entirely work because she was miserable.
"I know you don't want to talk about it...and that you don't want me to bring it up..." she bit her lower lip as she locked her eyes onto his, "but i love you....I never used to tell you that enough..." She didn't. She would only say it if he said it to her first...And as messed up as it was, Lily really didn't function right unless she was around Vinny. She didn't feel a strange attachment to everyone else that hurt her more than helped her. With Vinny...friends or more than friends...she was happy.
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Post by vincent marc chevalier on Aug 11, 2009 10:49:20 GMT -5
Well, you and I, it's somethin' different
And I'm enjoyin' it cautiously. Vincent wasn't sure of what he was doing. On the entire way here Vincent was convinced that going to see Lily Adler was the single worst idea that he had concocted in a while. Sure, she came to see him in Rome but that was because she wanted to. They had come to an agreement, they were strictly friends. He couldn't risk having his heart broken by the same female twice. It was bad enough she knew that he had a weak spot for her. They were much better off as friends. They could be two mature people, they had once had feelings for each other but now they were gone. Well, they pretended that those feelings were gone. That was fine with Vincent, he needed to move on in his life and she with hers.
Yet, when he saw her in the nearly empty hotel room he couldn't fight a smile. Lily Adler hadn't changed too much from Rome, but she had changed a lot from the months since Bordeaux. A strange warm tingle filled his body and he had to do whatever he could to keep himself from becoming attached to Lily again. He couldn't do it. No. It wasn't going to happen. But as soon as they were together their agreement seemed to be working perfectly. Food war. Throwing a TV out of the window. Even the awkward encounter with her grandfather in the online chat. They had handled everything in a friendly manner. Nothing that could have caused Vinny to say he was leading her on.
They started talking about Lily's baby. Lily's father's baby. That was the sickest part of it all. Alexander Adler had been fucking Lily since she was a little girl. The man was completely off his rocker. Vincent didn't know if the Adler girls knew, he wasn't even sure if her childhood friend Charlotte Vanderbilt knew. The fact that Monsieur Adler would even sink to that level had been shocking to Vincent, of course Vincent had heard of Monsieur Adler's adultery, everyone in the Old Money families knew that Monsieur Adler was the most forward with showing his other-women. But his own daughter? It was sickening to Vinny, the poor baby growing inside of Lily was going to be deformed. She wanted an abortion, Vincent had no idea what those entailed but he was sure they were painful.
As he lay on the bed staring at the ceiling he wondered what things would have been like if they had actually gone through with their engagement. There wouldn't be an incest-child growing inside of Lily, Lily and he could be planning their wedding instead of Lily making other girls' wedding dresses, his mother would have had the satisfaction of knowing that her son would be married (even if she would never make it to the wedding), his father wouldn't be so angry with him. Things would be completely different. His hazel eyes stared at the ceiling for a very long time his hands folded across his stomach, like an Ancient Egyptian mummy.
There hadn't been a moment since graduation that he hadn't thought about marrying Lily. Out of all his friends who were arranged to be married by parents who wanted to expand their empires Vinny felt that he had lucked out with his arranged marriage. He had actually felt something for Lily, unlike Ceci and Henri, his wing-man Warren and Vanderskank, the wigger Leo and Mari, none of them were emotionally attached to their fiance. But Ceci was 'school-bike', as Vanderskank so nicely put it, Henri wasn't sure what way he was going, Ren and Vanderskank were just childhood friends (that slept in the same bed...) and Leo and Mari were both about 12 years old in Vincent's head so it was strange. Lily and Vincent had been the perfect match.
Lily's voice caught him off guard and he turned his attention away from the ceiling to the girl sitting next to him. He sat up as soon as she started speaking. He knew exactly what she was going to say and he didn't want to hear it. That string of eight letters, those three words, it made him uncomfortable. He had told her he loved her so many times yet she still found a way to break his heart. He was getting uncomfortable so he got off the bed and walked to the bathroom. He turned on the light and looked in the mirror, he had a mustache of sharpie and a black spot on his nose. He stared at himself in the mirror and then turned the hot water on. He reached for soap and scrubbed at his face. If he focused on getting the ink off his face he wouldn't have to respond. He couldn't say it to her anymore. He could not bring himself to say 'I love you too'.
After what seemed like an eternity he walked out of the bathroom his face bright pink from scrubbing, no black sharpie to be found. "I thought we agreed on not talking about it Lil. You know how I feel and that should be enough." He walked over to the bed and sat down on it. "You have enough on your plate as it is." His gazed shifted from her face to her flat stomach, for a second, it would be protruding soon enough. "I just want to be here like Amelie would be there, or Charlotte would be there, or Maria would be there. As a friend." This was the hardest thing Vinny had to do, keep away from someone he loved so much.
word count: 960
note: got really carried away sorry.
lyrics: Near to You by A Fine Frenzy
outfit: sweet threads
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Post by lillian elise adler on Aug 11, 2009 14:06:01 GMT -5
Lily has turned her face so she was looking at the plush head board that lead to the canopy around the bed, the curtains pulled back so they weren't annoying. She simply closed her eyes as he moved away and, what she guessed, was the bathroom and then sat next to her and spoke. She already knew what he was going to say and she simply took in a deep breath and held it for a while before releasing it.
"I know," she answered softly, eyes still closed gently, the soft pink on her eyelids from the lack of sleep she had been getting lately, "But if you really want it to be like when they are over," she didn't turn to look at him, "Then, as Amelie you should be talking about Warren and how amazing he is. As Charlotte you should be talking about how wrong everything is and how abortion is the best option. As Maria...well, she's never here."
Lily wasn't exactly on on the best of terms with all her siblings, except maybe Rori. Other than that, Warren was too busy screwing Amelie, Maria was...well....she told everyone who the real father of her baby was and that really did nothing but create a giant gap between them, and Beth...Lily just stopped talking to her the week she ran away. She was a rebel without a cause and it bothered Lily tremendously because she was just throwing her life away...She wasn't thinking things through...And in a way, it sort of reminded her of her younger self-only she did have a reason to runaway... Because she was terrified of another mistake that could lead to an angry father and then another night of yells, arguements, and pain...More secrets she would have to keep.
Lily finally opened her eyes and stood, taking off her shirt as she headed towards the closet, to obviously change since her clothes were covered in food. He had seen her naked a million times, so she didn't bother telling him to look away. She was sure he would. Better; he wouldn't have to see the bruises and scratches she had all over. Or the scars on the insides of her arms. As she skimmed through her night clothes, she easily changed into some tiny black shorts and a simple white tank top. Wearing her night gown wouldn't be a good idea...consideirng it was tiny and more provacative than most night gowns should be.
She ran her fingers through her strawberry blonde hair as she walked out glanced over at him, "Vinny-raptor," she smiled softly at him, easily being able to sort of make a subject change. She was never a fan of talking about herself-so keeping the topic on Vincent would be easy for her. The nickname she had given him around the time they first met. She didn't know why she called him that, but it sort of came out. It had something to do with the fact that Charlotte had mentioned him being so quick with getting chicks while they were talking about Jurassic Park and how weird it was that Lily never saw it before...And then bam. Vinny-Raptor came to be.
"You hungry...?" she asked as she headed towards the messy kitchen-like area, "....if only there was any food left..." she mumbled softly to herself as she opened the fridge, her eyes catching on to the large amounts of vodka bottles in the far back that she had hidden from herself; lying to her friends that she had taken all of the bottles out of the suite...
As if instinct was kicking in, she reached in and grabbed one, closing the fridge and getting ready to crack it open and pour herself some; maybe even mix it with some orange juice to make a screwdriver for herself... But as the glass made the sound of it hitting the table, she seemed to snap out of it and the hesitation made her muscles tense slightly. About 80% of her was ready to crack that bad boy opened but the other 20% told her it would be wrong...
She was getting an abortion anyways. Why should it matter?
And just that easily, the 80% of her won her over. She cracked the bottle opened and poured herself a few shots, easily downing them all. She loved the burning sensation as it spilled down the inside of her throat and landed in her stomach. Charlotte and Amelie had yelled at her everytime she would go to grab for one, or would call up Cass to see if she could get another hit. But truly, usually, the only form of contact she had with the outside world was either her father...or the occassional maid that would dare knock on her door to clean.
Plus, the vodka added a comfortable numbness to everything and she didn't think as much with every few shots she took. She was already pouring some more shots as she went over to the cupboard, shifting through the glasses to find the tallest one. The majority of the glasses were shot glasses, martini glasses...Basically glasses to serve alcoholic beverages. They were the only cups she had in her apartment before moving in here...
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Post by vincent marc chevalier on Aug 11, 2009 18:17:51 GMT -5
Well, you and I, it's somethin' different
And I'm enjoyin' it cautiously. Vincent was more than glad that Lily hated talking about herself. Of course he loved talking about her, more than he loved talking about himself. But in this case it was a perfect trait in Lil because she could switch the sunject from herself to something else easier than breathing. He nodded an amused smile forming on his face. Maybe he didn't want to be exactly like Amelie, Charlotte or her sister but something like that. Firstly, there was no way in hell he was going to gush over Warren Adler. The kid was his protegee, the mini-Vincent (at least at Bordeaux), they were each other's wing-man when it came to picking up other women. Charlotte, well she was the world's biggest secret skank. No one knew how much of a skank that girl was, except of course for Vincent. And Maria? Lily had seemed to lose a lot of contact with her family once Bordeaux was put in the past. From what Vincent could tell each of the Adler children had grown into their own person, which was something they needed. So maybe being her friends was a bad idea, but he just wanted to be treated the same way. He was certain that Lily never said she loved Amelie or Charlotte the way she said she loved Vincent.
Lily stood up and began to take her clothes off, and Vincent looked away. With most women he was able to look at them undress and feel comfortable, because they were long time hook-ups or one night stands. Lily was different, every time she felt the need to change in front of him he had to look away. Sure, he had seen her without clothes but he still wasn't comfortable, because he didn't see Lily as a piece of meat she was much more than that. "Vinny-raptor," the name made Vincent look back towards Lily. Even in shorts and a tank top she was the most stunning, petite, person he had ever seen. Her strawberry blonde curls were screaming for him to run his fingers through. Aside from their personalities completmenting each other, they looked beautiful together. Lily was petite, blonde, blue eyed, a model in her own right; Vincent was tall dark haired, not overly muscular, a handsome young man. Everything about them screamed that they should be together, except of course his broken heart.
He smiled at her and then laid back down. His stomach began to grumble as he stared up at the ceiling. "Oui" he said, still staring up. "You know there would be some food if you hadn't insisted on throwing it at me." He sat back up a chuckle forming in his throat. "I'd say we should order something but I don't think that the Hotel would be too happy with the state of the room." He looked around the empty room. If he had ever thought of trashing a room this way his father would belt him, no matter how old he was. Vincent respected his father more than he respected the big guy upstairs, the big guy could kill him but not if Jacques Chevalier got there first. Jacques Chevalier was Vincent's personal Chuck Norris, and if you were smart you wouldn't mess with Chuck Norris.
He watched her go to the kitchen and open the fridge. He wondered if there was anything good to eat in the fridge, if there was anything left. He got up and walked towards the kitchen. He saw Lily's body freeze whilst looking in. He wondered what could have gotten her attention. He heard the all too familiar popping of a bottle. He froze, his eye brow furrowing that popping sound was way too familiar. It was either champagne or a vodka bottle being cracked open. In either case Lily shouldn't be drinking it. He entered the kitchen just as the glass reached her lips and she drained it.
"What do you think you're doing?" It wasn't a rhetorical question, he was demanding to know what the hell she was doing. Was she complete out of her mind? Sure, she didn't want to keep the baby, and he wasn't going to get in the way with that. But he wasn't going to let her kill the baby by downing straight vodka. "Have you completely lost it?" He was awe-struck. Did he really just see her do that? He never thought that Lily would do such a thing. He didn't even know where to begin with her. He felt hot anger rise to his face, his fists curled into tight balls. 'Calm yourself Vincent'. He couldn't lose control with her, but she had to be off her rocker if she thought he was going to let her finish that bottle.
He walked over to her his hand out. "Bottle." He gave her a very stern look. He wasn't trying to be her father but he sure as hell wasn't going to let her do this. "All of them." Was she really that desperate to get rid of that child?
word count: 868
lyrics: Near to You by A Fine Frenzy
outfit: sweet threads
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Post by lillian elise adler on Aug 11, 2009 19:23:17 GMT -5
When he asked for the rest of the bottles, she simply handed him the one, slightly reluctant about it, and then moved in front of the fridge, leaning against it almost in a protective sort of stance. It wasn't some knew-found knowledge that Lillian Adler, over the course of six months, had become a chain smoker, a heroine addict, and an alcoholic. All three keeping her at the desirable weight to still model and do shoots every now and again and look good for the public; yet extremely unhealthy given her already bad health that began her senior year of Bordeaux with the many suicide attempts that lead to her father's loss of interest in her for a while.
But her eyes wavered, almost as if she were almost unable to keep them locked onto his face. She locked her jaw to fight back her sudden scream of No. So many nights she remembered falling asleep hugging an empty bottle of waking up to shot glasses and needles sprinkled across her night stand and dresser. It killed the hunger pains, it killed that iching feeling she always got to get up and go out and go nuts on people-tell them exactly what she thought about them and how much she just wanted to hit them all and throw the truth in their faces.
"It's already dying," she said quietly. She hadn't wanted to admit it before...She had been lying to her father, telling him the doctor was predicting a baby girl when the doctor was simply saying that she needed to get the abortion-no matter what-or she would end up killing herself and the baby. She tried for a month and a half to get healthy again: no drinking, no drugs, and no smoking; so she could have this baby and it was for nothing. She went through nights where she would claw at the insides of her arms wanting that fix, where she would break bottles of vodka against the wall so she wouldn't drink it...
For nothing.
There was a reason Lily wasn't ready to have kids. Her body couldn't handle it. Even when she was trying to get healthy so it could handle it. The stomach pains she had before...She knew it was just the baby dying a little more. She just learned to ignore it lately. She still hadn't drank anything in a while, this being the first time, in some false hope that maybe the baby could get better. But there was no chance. Even if the baby did make it, apparently it would only be able to live, the most, a couple hours...
"It doesn't matter anymore," she finally locked her eyes onto his. She already cried about it, so she didn't bother shedding anymore tears-they would be a waste. In a way she felt a bit useless. This was, surprisingly, the only thing she ever did to make her father proud. Have his kid. And she couldn't even manage to do that right.
She hadn't realized she still had another shot glass in her hand while the other was pressed gently against the refrigerator. She tore her eyes away from Vinny's and looked down, easily downing it and it having no effect on her. She built up quite a tolerance lately. She was tempted to tell him that if he was hungry he should have some because it killed the appetite. Yea, she was hungry. But eating was so difficult, for her at least. She still ate, but only because it was necessary to survive.
"And you can't take all of them..." she said as she slid down to the floor and sighed deeply, looking up at him. She obviously wasn't going to move. The majority of the refrigerator was full of vodka bottles of all sizes and flavors. And the cooler in the back closet? There was even more back there. She even had some remnants of her stash of skag in her suitcases that she managed to pay off security at the airport for.
"I need them," she looked completely serious when she told him she needed them. In her mind, she did. While at Bordeaux, she used to drink only at parties-well, that was the only time he would see her drinking. When they actually moved in together, he seemed to catch onto it a bit more, considering she used anything as an excuse to crack open a bottle of any form of alcohol. She hadn't been addicted to drugs back then. That had developed over the time she spent alone and traveling like a mad woman to get away from everyone. But, honestly, she did need the alcohol. Even if he did manage to take them she would just find a way to get more...
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Post by vincent marc chevalier on Aug 13, 2009 23:13:51 GMT -5
Well, you and I, it's somethin' different
And I'm enjoyin' it cautiously. Getting the first bottle out of Lily wasn't too hard. He hadn't expected it to be, but he could already see that getting the rest of them was going to be a difficult task. The way she was standing, like a lioness ready to defend her cubs, in front of the fridge he knew that it was going to take a lot of convincing. It was no secret that Lily Adler had become something of a serious addict once she left Bordeaux. Sure, drinking at Bordeaux had occurred, nearly everyone drank, but it wasn't to this extent. Vincent partially blamed himself for Lily's demise. If he hadn't been so pushy with getting married right away, and having children, she and he would still be together and neither of them would be in the predicament they were in. He wouldn't be lonely and bitter and she wouldn't be carrying her father's incestuous love child. The way she so coldly said the baby was already dying made Vincent feel sick.
Weren't all women extremely attached to their babies? Vincent's mother was always talking about how she was attached to all of her children, and every mother was attached to their babies because it was apart of them. Didn't Lily feel the same way? Even if this child was the child of her father, didn't she feel like this baby was still a part of her as well? Vincent wasn't so sure what to think about Lily anymore. If she couldn't give up her addictions for one baby what could give him enough trust that she could do it for another child. He was thinking this in hope that they could one day they would finally overcome everything between them and make a life for themselves, eventually settle down. But at this moment in time he was only concerned for her health and the health of the child, even if it wasn't his child.
'It doesn't matter anymore'
"Yes, yes it does matter." His reply was weak. He couldn't believe his ears. Did she mean it? His gaze locked onto hers. She was still the same beautiful Lilian Adler. Her eyes were still the same beautiful blue, and they still intimidated him but they looked glassier. They looked more pained, more weary of the world. Lilian had been through much more than Vincent could ever imagine. Maybe the saying 'misery loves company' was true. Both of them had been through so much in the last six months, but Lily's ordeals seemed far more traumatizing than Vincent's. Vincent had lost his mother, his father refused to speak to him, he hadn't spoken to his brother or sister in months, and the love of his life was more fucked up than he was. Misery must have ADORED company in Vincent's case.
He watched her as she took another shot of vodka. She slid down to the floor, not drunk, but probably feeling defeated. She had so much to deal with he was surprise she wasn't in a mental institution or something like that. He sat down on the floor next to her and watched her. She had become an alcoholic and an addict and God-knew what else. Yet, Vinny still found her to be the most perfect girl to walk the planet.
'I need them'.
Vincent looked at her as if she had ten heads. "You need them? You NEED them?" He was absolutely appalled. He knew that she drank but never to this extent. Of course he heard stories but he didn't want to believe it. Deep down he knew that they weren't rumors but he refused to deal with that. He shook his head "No, you don't need them. What you need is to get away from all of this." He motioned to the empty hotel room. "This isn't a perfect way to keep someone...your father should treat you better, you know that?" Mr. Adler could have been in the Guinness Book of World Records under "World's Biggest Scumbag". Of course everyone knew that Alexander Adler was a jerk, a scumbag, and a loser but everyone respected him. It was expected of all the children of Old Money families to treat other adults from Old Money families as if they were gods. Essentially they were gods, all of them beautiful, wealthy, powerful and irresistible.
He took a hold of her hands. "Lils, you really need to get out. Just leave, forget your father. Do what you have to. Even if it means you have to leave everything and everyone you love behind." Vincent didn't want to lose Lily, but he'd rather lose her than see her go insane under so much pressure from her family.
word count: 813
lyrics: Near to You by A Fine Frenzy
note: I think I wrote this about 5 times, each time it got deleted. Sorry it sucks.
outfit: sweet threads
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Post by lillian elise adler on Aug 14, 2009 13:55:33 GMT -5
Lily's eyes wavered as she looked down at Vincent's hands which were on her's. She listened to all of his words, but she didn't know if she could do what he was basically telling her to do. She definetly had become attached to the baby. Hell, she could have just not told her father and went and got the abortion like Charlotte and everyone else told her to do. But she didn't, because she thought she could make it work. She thought if she tried hard enough to get better, the baby would grow and be healthy and maybe, even if the father was her own father, be happy. But things get in the way. Not her addiction-because she managed to stay off of all the alcohol and heroine to ensure the baby would be healthy... It was all genetics. She just couldn't have her father's kid. Not according to the doctor. They were too close of a genetic match. Even if it did manage to make it to delivery, the most it would be able to live would be about a few hours because it still would have so many problems with it...
"I already tried leaving," she said quietly, finally looking up at him, "I did it for five months."
What Vincent probably didn't know was that when she left him, she left everyone. She didn't talk to any of her family members, to all of her friends, to everyone unless she spoke to them about business and usually even then it would be a phone call or two. Nothing beyond that. She cut everyone off but ended up right back where she started the second she started dating Kostas...
Because he was linked to everyone and back then she had absolutely no clue. She thought that maybe it was her chance to actually not think of anyone and start over when in fact it just came back and bit her in the ass because he had been cheating on her with his cousin's wife...Lily's old art teacher...Abi.
"I don't like being alone," in Bordeaux, Lily was usually always surrounded by people. Outside of Bordeaux, she had Vincent and she still was surrounded by people because of her line of work. But even then it was like being alone in a crowded room those five months she lived on her own. She made her own money, which she loved because she had no dependence on her parents or siblings...But it was still lonely. She figured that was what lead her to coming back to all of them. She would much rather go insane with everyone's expectations than to be alone.
She sometimes didn't understand how Vincent could put up with her. She was psychotic, in her opinion at least. The only enjoyment she got from her father was that he didn't leave her by herself. He would tell her she was beautiful and perfect...Whenever she did what he thought was right at least. she sighed deeply and then bit her lower lip, "You know," she locked her eyes onto his, "I tried so had to make this work..." she bit hard on her lower lip, "I stopped everything....I put everything on hold....just so that it wouldn't just..... [/i]die[/i]..."[/b] Lily always acted so nonchalant about the baby but she honestly did love it. Whatever it would have become at least, "I don't want to leave unless you come with me..."It just sort of blurted out and she obviously hadn't thought it through like she usually thought things through. But she didn't think she would be able to leave Vincent again. She did love him, more than she showed. He had wanted to get married and have kids...Something she had sort of pushed him at first to do...But...once she started getting what she wanted it was like she didn't want it anymore. No. It was that she didn't want them yet. She was only nineteen. Sure by now her mother was married and had her already but she wasn't her mother and didn't want to be. She wanted to get her career fully established, wanted to travel the world...with Vincent...Just the two of them. But she didn't know how to tell him that before...She still didn't. She tried and it only made her look like the world's biggest bitch, which she probably was-who knew? But regardless, this time she wasn't going to leave on her own...She didn't want to...
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